About Writing, Life and Writing About Life

This is my first attempt at Madison Woods’ Friday Fictioneers, a hundred word (ish) piece of flash fiction based on this week’s photo prompt.

Kind words and gentle suggestions welcomed 🙂

Moving On

He felt like an empty shell; the meat torn out of him years ago when he lost her. Taught as a boy to keep his emotions in check, she was the only one who had ever seen to the heart of him.

He supposed he had been mired in grief for too long, but now this chance at another love left him fearing he would betray her memory. He only knew that if he did not take the risk he would remain empty, until one day washed up on a distant shore. He had to trust that she, at least, would have understood.


Comments on: "Friday Fictioneers – Moving On" (28)

  1. I liked this. I think that it is something that a lot of widowers face. (And yes, we did take a similar view of the prompt but our stories are completely different – which is good.)

    • Thanks Marilyn. I was quite surprised than I ended up writing the first story from a male perspective, but I think that it is more this way for a widower (not to lessen the loss that anyone feels, of course).

  2. Oh that is lovely. So sad and so well put with the idea of the empty shell.

  3. I’m always amazed at how the images posted by Madison can bring forth such varying interpretations Anne. I think we’ve all come across situations similar to this and the beginning of good fiction for me is when someone is able create an image in my head for me to carry. Well done: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-shell-seeker/

  4. Dear Anne,

    This was a beautiful and moving story. One of the best this weekend. Sad, sublime and true.




  5. A lovely reflective interpretation! You don’t make it explicit, but to me the ripples of change in the character’s life match the little ripples in the photo, and I like the symbolism.

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! Have fun with it – I think these little stories are wonderful writing practice.

    • Thanks. I hadn’t thought of the ripples, but I like that interpretation. Goes to show there is more in a story even than the author intended. 🙂

  6. An empathic tale of bereavement, and the eventual inevitable need to move on. I liked this.
    Welcome also. 🙂

  7. “He had to trust that she, at least, would have understood”–wonderful follow-up comment to the earlier observation that “she was the only one who had ever seen to the heart of him”. A good exploration of the conflict faced by the surviving partner of a loving, close relationship.

  8. Really nice. The conflict comes across as very genuine, emotional without being overly emotional. The way you extended the metaphor was nice, too.

    Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/08/10/the-reunion/)

  9. I liked your straightforward yet sad words this week. I feel his pain and hope for his future.


    • Thanks Susan, I kind of feel his courage (and the new lady in his life) will ensure everything works out, subject to life’s normal ups and downs, of course!

  10. excellent story…. enjoyed it

    • Thanks Bill, and I appreciated the insight from your story into how he might have been taught not to show his emotions, even if it was a bit scary! Thankful the Dad in my house takes a different approach (but not half as glad as my sons, I bet!

  11. Hi Anne: Welcome to FFictioneers. Enjoyed your story. Love how you gave him the courage to move on. I feel his guilt will subside eventually.

    • Thanks Lora. I’m not sure he will ever truly resolve the conflict, but his new lady will keep him happy I reckon 🙂 I tried to comment on your story but not sure it worked – loved it!

  12. rochellewisoff said:

    What a sensitive, well written story. It had a truthful ring to it.
    Mine’s here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/safe.html

  13. Welcome, Anne, and you did a lovely job with your story. I think she’ll be pleased because if she really loved him, she’ll want him to be happy.

    • Thanks Janet, I agree, I think she would want him to be happy too. My mum even said as much to my Dad before she died, and he has been too 🙂

  14. Welcoem to the Fictioneers! Sorry for my late reply, I’ve been away so I’m just catching up on Friday’s posts. This story is sensitively told and you give just the right level of analogy without laying it on too thick – the “meat torn out of him” line is my favourite.
    Looking forward to seeing more from you in the coming weeks.

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/friday-fiction-shells/

    • Thanks for stopping by. I have really appreciated the welcome from everyone, and hope to write again soon, though my pc died at the weekend so I am on borrowed time till I get a new one.

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