The answer to the question is (of course) that the person I’ve been trying to kid is me!
As I mentioned briefly here, hubby and I are amongst the many who have started trying out the 5:2 diet/eating system highlighted on the Horizon programme ‘Eat, Fast and Live Longer’. I’ve been telling myself and others that I’m not really doing it to lose weight – more to address health issues such as wobbly blood sugar and to do what I can to avoid dying of cancer at an early age like my mother. I have heard similar comments from others also changing their eating patterns this way.
Well, I can’t speak for anyone else, but the truth is that for me that’s been a bit of a fib. It’s a fib I’ve been telling myself for a while as my weight has gradually crept up without me seeming to have sufficient inclination or inspiration to do anything about it. So pretending that weight loss is only a side benefit of the 5:2 plan rather than my main goal is just continuing the denial that has kept me mentally ok over the last few years.
How come I’m admitting it now? Well, it looks as though the tide might be turning. I’ve been very determined not to get on the scales until we’ve been on the new eating programme for a few weeks, and today is my second low-cal day in week 3. The reason for waiting to weigh myself has been that I didn’t want to get disheartened. It’s hard having days when you’re really hungry, although I haven’t been tempted to cheat yet. But if I didn’t see any change on the scales, it would make it harder still. Because I really do want to lose weight. I don’t have a specific amount, or a target weight I’m aiming for. I just know that I wasn’t happy with the slow upward trend and certainly didn’t want to go up another clothes size. And now my clothes might just be feeling slightly looser, so I have great hopes that the scales will tell me the same story in a week’s time. Only this makes it possible to admit that weight loss is what I hope to gain from this diet, and is the reason that I am happy to feel hungry today because I can see it will make the difference I want.
My name is Anne, and I want to lose weight. Ah, now that feels much better.