About Writing, Life and Writing About Life

Well, I didn’t miss last week thanks to my lovely hubby Pete who posted my story for me. This week I’m planning ahead and putting my post ready for Friday. For anyone who doesn’t know already, Friday Fictioneers is a blog party started by Madison Woods and now run by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Every Friday stalwart souls around the world post a piece of short fiction of as near to 100 words in length as they can manage, inspired by the photo prompt provided. If you would like to join in please visit Rochelle’s page for this week to find out how it works. This week’s picture is copyright Rich Voza. To see the other stories click on the blue link-monitor below my story.

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Captured

Endless featureless corridors with blinding, mystifying white lights. Some Jerry facility. How did he get here? Must have been brainwashed. Captain warned about that. The drugs make you unsteady on your pins. It was in the briefing.

Voices behind one of the doors; it opens. A man in some strange uniform appears.

“Hello Robert, nice to see you.”

Don’t trust him. The enemy are experts with their mental tricks. Name, rank and serial number. That’s all.

“We’re at Sunnyside, Robert. You’re staying here for now. Let’s get a cup of tea in the dayroom; your son will be here soon.”

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Comments on: "Friday Fictioneers – Captured" (35)

  1. Sad but you portrayed well the inner mental life, not necessarily correct, that goes on for some of these people.

    • It is sad Janet, and the hardest thing is that you can’t hear the mental life, which makes for very difficult communication which can then lead to agression and frustration.

  2. You conveyed the poor character’s mental confusion well. I felt very sorry for him. Well done.

    • Thanks Sandra. Thankfully not everyone with dementia is as unhappy as Robert. It is possible to build an environment in which the person has clues that make them feel safe and give them a happier mental life.

  3. Chilling story here, tells SO much with very few words. It’s a stark reality for some, here. Thank you for writing, and sharing it.

    • Thanks Shelly. This was the first thing the prompt made me think of, and I am always glad to make people think about dementia as my stepmother has it and we have learned a lot over the years.

  4. Poor Robert. What a terrible disease.

    • It is JK, but it’s also out there and understanding how it works and how the person is still there, just trying to make sense of a frightening situation, can help.

  5. I am SO in love with your prose! The story is SO good! Thank-you for this and your sharing of talents!

  6. Nice twist at the end. I like it.

  7. Amazing piece, Anne. Bravo!

  8. Wow! The inner workings of a deluded man. Sad, and unfortunately a reality for some.

  9. Fantastic flash fiction, Anne. Interesting twist, very well done!

  10. I wasn’t expecting that. As you say, what is going on inside can only be guesswork, but this is a well-written possibility.

  11. How sad.

    Good work.

  12. What a disorienting thing that would be. It’s hard even to conceive how it must feel.

  13. it’s cool when the reader can’t tell which reality it is. like the movie “total recall.” well done.

  14. Brilliant! Very good rhythm too, I must say.

  15. Hi Anne,
    You pulled off a change of direction at the end. Or did you? Is the enemy just playing a game of is this reality. Great suspension of belief. Ron

    • I am interested that you are able to interpret the story in that other way, Ron, which was not my intention (I’m not that sharp!) Admittedly most of the clues are in the picture, but from my perspective Robert believes himself to be in WWII, and I don’t think even ‘Jerry’ (the germans), had quite such shiny and futuristic looking facilities. I tried to give a hint to this with the ‘mystifying white lights’ but I guess I shouldn’t mind that readers find more in the story than I intended to put there. 🙂 Thanks for reading.

  16. I think Ron’s right. The guy in the strange uniform is just pretending it’s Sunnyside. I hope Robert is strong enough to see through the illusion! Nicely written.

  17. Who is right here. Trust your instinct, name rank and number… Only a trick.

  18. Are we supposed to believe he’s a Sunnyside just because some guy in a uniform said so?
    “IT”S A TRAP!” 😀
    You have us standing on the edge. The story could go either way. Very well scripted. Bravo!

  19. I suppose poor Robert was addicted to Purple as well. Terrible disease. Let’s hope it’s not contagious.

    • I don’t think there’s a lot of purple in Robert’s reality. Perhaps it would help? (You’ll never convince me purple is a bad thing – now brown, there’s a colour with a lot to answer for).

  20. I see what you did there – nicely done!

  21. Dear Anne,

    And that is the way of it sometimes as we arrive, brakes squealing and tires smoking, to the “Golden Years” and ‘Sunnyside’ or ‘Shadyrest’ or ‘Whispering Pines’ or….Who thinks up these names, anyway? Marketers.

    Sad story well written.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  22. This hit me in the pit of my stomach because I lived though it. I never knew what was in mom’s thoughts but saw the fear in her eyes.

  23. memories of being back in the War. Now in a Nursing Home – happens to many as they age. A well written piece of fiction – or non?!

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