About Writing, Life and Writing About Life

Mom 3I’ve been pondering on the topic of love. Not just romantic love, but all the relationships we have in our lives. You know what I mean when I say that I love my mother – but how do you know that? Science can describe what happens when I am experiencing love. Certain areas of the brain light up with messages speeding around. This causes chemicals to be released in the body, which feel wonderful. What science cannot see, though, is the cause. It is not what the eye sees. If you look at this picture of my mother you will not have the same response. Even my brother and sisters, who also love her, will have a slightly different response as our own individual experiences and memories are different.
Eastern philosophy tells us that love comes from our heart chakra, the energy centre that equates with our chest in physical terms. This is intuitively more accurate – long before we were measuring brain activity the heart has been associated with love. Love, then, seems to be mostly an energy pattern that develops as a result of our thoughts. So love is part of us, not something out there in the world.
Last week I received one of the excellent daily Notes from the Universe, which confirmed something I had already concluded. This is that whilst it is nice to be loved, what really matters (and in fact the only thing you can directly experience) is the love that you feel for others. So this is what you need to concentrate on.
Stop worrying about whether, why or how anybody else loves you. Concentrate instead on how you love them. Feel it and enjoy it. Then act on it too. Tell them you love them if you can, but also show it in your actions.
This has been especially relevant thinking for me in relation to my mother. We had a complicated relationship and I was never sure she loved me. She died over twenty years ago and it took me a long time to resolve my feelings for her. Now, though, I am able to love her. The fact that she is not here does not stop me. And it feels good.

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Comments on: "Thought for the week – Where Is Love?" (3)

  1. I think our love we have for our mothers are complicated. Just as our love with our own children. My mother died 20 years ago and our relationship was distant. Same as you I know she loved me but I didn’t really know. I look back over my life and I reconize her love. My daughters are grown with children of their own. But still I try to mother them. I try to open communication with them in hopes of instilling in them my love so they know it without a doubt.

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