About Writing, Life and Writing About Life

Posts tagged ‘goals’

Thought for the week – Dealing with Disappointment

This post follows on from last week’s Diet Disappointment. I thought I would take a broader look about how we deal with disappointments in life. There are many kinds of disappointments – for me it was a lack of results in my attempt to lose weight, but disappointment can operate for anyone at any level: not getting an expected promotion, failing an exam or not getting good enough grades to take the life route you had been planning, entering a competition and not winning or coming fourth in an Olympic race are all examples.
So how do we deal with it? For me, one of the first things to do was to acknowledge that I was disappointed. If I had pretended I didn’t mind then I would not have been recognising my true feelings. I went as far as to express those feelings publicly, and maybe that helped too. Having recognised and expressed my feelings, I was more able to accept them and then let them go (I could write a lot more about letting feelings go, and maybe one day I will).
That’s stage one in dealing with disappointment. The next stage I think is to treat it as feedback. I was helped by a friend who pointed me to further research I could do, and I thought about possible responses to my lack of weight loss. Did I need to change what I was doing to make better progress towards my aim? What else could I try, or how could I alter my actions to get a better result next time? On this occasion, I have decided that it is too early to be sure of my results because of the complication of also adding the exercise programme. I have continued that and slightly reduced my calories on my two low-cal days and will see how this pans out. So there is a process of refinement going on, and I will get further feedback as time goes on.
So I think the most important factors in dealing with disappointment are to acknowledge and express how you feel, then look at your results as feedback and adjust your actions going forward.
Probably less helpful options (especially in my case) would be to carry on feeling sorry for yourself or to give up and eat cake.
How do you deal with disappointment? Are there any other tips you can share with me?

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Create a Marketing Plan for Your Book

Right, back to business (temporarily at least). Here’s a little bit more of the download I am writing about self-publishing. (To follow this from the beginning go to the Publish Your Book category) I should share that I haven’t done this for my next book ‘Be An Author’ yet as that is traditionally published and I am waiting to see the plan from the publisher at the moment. I don’t think all the responsibility rests with the publisher, though, so I will end up with a plan of actions I need to take. (more…)